Here's a thought that never occurred to me in high school: I might be shallow. Back in my high school years, I was ambitious and driven and so bloodthirsty for control that I was treated with too much politeness by my classmates and even my close friends. When I got into college, I developed an attitude that can only be described by the word 'bondying-bondying'. I still treat my classes with the 'eager student approach', but I've noticed that I've lost the fire that used to drive me to reach out and keep busy. Now I'm contented with just sleeping in my cold room while the rest of the dorm is out there watching PBA Finals or watching DVD's when there's a seminar on this-and-that a couple hundred meters away. I hate it! What's happening to me?! I'm in the University of the Philippines for crying out loud, and I'm only wasting my God-given potential on the Internet! Grrr. It's just that my first year of college is done. And yes, my second sem grades are so-so as always. No failures, but nooooooh. Really depressing.
Speaking of ending semesters, Kalayaan hosted its annual Formal Dinner last Sunday. Really fun. Because I was reacquainted with the digicam recently, I brought it along and snapped pictures of almost everyone I knew. And yes, I wiped out two memory cards and even my fully-charged Li-ion battery pack, but it was worth it. A picture paints a thousand words. Besides, the atmosphere that night caused lots of strange emotions that I can't sufficiently describe with words. The moon, slow dancing and cocktail dresses always prove to be a nostalgia-prone combination.
Toodles! Poof.
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um, i don't know if there really is a connection between ultra driven hs people and underachievement in college. i have a lot of friends though who ended up like you.
my dad always told us not to drive ourselves too much in high school. he told us to not study too hard. we just had to make sure not to fail hs. he said what matters most is college so that's when he wanted us to work and study hard. i don't know but maybe he had a feeling that those who pushed themselves too hard in hs didn't do the same in college.
this isn't a rule though. i'm sure there are those who stay achievers for life. i guess what i'm trying to say is maybe you burned yourself out or something.
hang in there ok? that's an awful wste of brains if you go too far down the drain
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